Dating a Person with a Disability

People with disabilities don’t want to be coddled or treated differently. They want to be treated just as everyone else, and valued for all the things they are, not only for what they aren’t or can’t do. The same is true for everyone as they enter into romantic relationships, whether they have disabilities or not. 

But you may be unsure about how to truly be there for your partner and support them in the best way possible. Here are some tips:

Do your research

It’s a good idea to do a little research on your own to fully understand your partner’s disability and the challenges and limits that may come with it. 

Avoid making the disability their whole identity 

Your partner’s disability it’s just one part of who they are. The most important thing is to listen, learn, and approach the relationship with respect and openness. Disability does not make a relationship “different” — it simply means that, like all relationships, it requires mutual understanding and care.”

Check your ableist tendencies

Without realizing it, and even with the best intentions, you may have biases or tendencies toward ableism that could potentially be hurtful to your partner. The best way to overcome them is curiosity and a genuine willingness to learn and grow. If you come from a genuine place of love and caring, that’s what’s most important.

Invisible disabilities can cause misunderstandings

Those with invisible disabilities, such as autism, may incorrectly be perceived as unable to interact socially or romantically, or as simply uninterested in it. That isn’t necessarily true! They may, however, simply prefer expressions of affection that are different from those you prefer.

For example, while you may love hugs, many people who are neurodivergent (with conditions such as autism, ADHD, or dyslexia) may not. On the other hand, they may prefer to simply spend quality time together, share their passions with each other, or give gifts in order to express their affection. For this reason, it’s important to talk about each other’s needs, boundaries, and expectations so that you can better understand each other and give each other the love you need. Know that the traditional signs of affection you’re used to may not be the signs your partner enjoys.